I just can't fucking hear these tones.
What is the difference between tones and pitch and inflection, and why am I so incapable of making my voice create them? I don't know how to tell the laoshis that I understand the tone theory fine, but I just can't hear the difference between rising and falling or whatever, so I just keep saying 'I can't hear it,' and they look at me like I'm retarded.
Bleh, I did the completely wrong lesson for class today because the laoshi changed it, but I didn't understand her when she told us that. It's a little thing, but there's been so many little things that I'm constantly holding back tears in class, feeling like such an imbecile.
I'm sick, some kind of sinus cold thing. My roommate is trying to doctor me, and while I appreciate her concern, her constant surveillance and rules about what I can't eat or drink (completely opposite of my mom's advice, go figure) is getting on my nerves. My Chinese is not good enough to explain that I don't have a fever, my forehead is always hotter than most people's, and that I don't care if Chinese yin-yang theory says I shouldn't use air conditioning when I'm sick, I'm sweating my figurative balls off. And no, I don't need to go to a doctor, I just need the laoshis to fucking cut down our ridiculous homework so I can actually get some sleep.
2 comments:
don't you worry, I fight back tears some days in class too. My refrain in class whenever the teacher calls on me is "hai bu mingbai..." which can really take its toll. Also, I know exactly what you mean about the hearing--except here, I literally can't hear her because she speaks so softly and all the background noise of chinese kids yelling like animals and the fucking bell and the train make it impossible to hear...I want to explain to her that I can't know if I understand her if I can't even hear her, but it's no use. I feel like the slow kid in class too, always asking everyone else what the teacher just said, etc. But your program must be even harder than mine, I can't imagine. Chinese is so frustrating :(
oh no! i am sorry to hear you are sick :(
i am not feeling well either, something is making me really weak and dizzy. we can be sick together, if that is some consolation haha.
i know you're probably super tired of hearing this, but just keep trying to improve, and do what you can. you'll make it
:)
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